I'm writing this much sooner than I thought I would, but I often find writing cathartic and if I don't get this out into the universe soon I don't think I can move on.
As some of you will know I took the decision to move up north in October last year to start a new career. It was a difficult decision but I knew I'd done as much as I could in my old place and I honestly felt as if I was stagnating - if there's one thing I really don't like it's feeling trapped or not improving.
My relationship was solid, or so I thought.... But we've been through a lot in the last 2 years. My surgery, death in the family, and other things I'm not going to go into because as much as has happened in the last few months, I still care about this person.
I'd been in Manchester for a few weeks, when I felt a shift. I wasn't the person who'd moved up anymore. I was putting more hours than I ever had before, I was spending less and less time on the phone or FaceTime.
I was starting to discover who I was all over again.
Difficulty in any relationship is always going to be magnified when there's a distance between the parties involved.
I was spending so much time at work and she was building a new life at work and socially. It felt all of a sudden as if the past was exactly that, the past.
So once more I find myself not knowing who I will end up sharing my future with. But I know that it will happen.
I also know it will happen for her.
I hope it will, because if you've shared something with someone; if you've loved someone then you should want them to be happy. I know I do.
To quote Liam Gallagher, "There's time no for looking back, thanks for all your support......."