If you ask everyone the question what they want in life I bet you 99 out of 100 will answer you with the same reply, "I want to be happy".
You're also going to get a different take on what happiness is for each person. Have you heard the metaphor; "The Power Plant doesn't have energy. It generates it"?
The same goes for you and your happiness. Yes of course things, people and relationships will and can have an effect on your happiness. But how can you sustain your own happiness?
I've had a bit of practice in having to generate my own happiness, especially very early on in my transition. I moved to a new town, started a new job and I knew no one. Looking back I consider I was a little crazy to do this as; well as change the way I was expressing my true gender identity. I know most people would struggle with the changing locations, no friends and new job, never mind changing gender.
But it was the smartest thing I ever did. You've heard of the saying "if you want to take the island you burn all of the boats". Well I truly lived up to that!
On a spiritual level though, if you really want to experience happiness you have to put it out there. The law of attraction dictates that you have to be, what you want to attract.
I'm hoping that these 5 pointers will help support you in finding your own happiness.
1. Be open to new things. You cannot expect to attract new relationships, new friendships, and new opportunities if you're not open to new things. For me I tried to force myself into new friendships with colleagues and work associates; and none of it was working. As soon as I went to a quiz night in Bournemouth and put myself in a new social situation, I got to know new people and was far happier. It wasn't forced anymore and because of that rather than give off the air of desperation, I was genuinely being myself.
2. Be happy - (remember the power plant). You know when people are miserable and they seem to attract the same type of person? Or you've had a bad day and things start of crappy, you're running late for work and rather than laughing it off you get angry at what's happened and so the day continues in the same vane. It's the law of attraction, at work again. I know when you're down it's difficult, but being miserable never got anyone a happy life. Being happy with your lot and what you have will bring more happy situations, blessings and abundance to you.
3. Put yourself out there - you know when you're in a new situation and you don't want to talk anyone new because you're not feeling great about yourself? Or you think that you're not looking your best? When we put effort into being with other people, when we try to have a spark in a conversation, more often than not we get the same thing back. Remember people are a reflection of you. I know it's hard when you're down, to put the effort in. In doing so you're going to get effort back. If you start talking to one person and you have that spark, then they'll introduce you to their friends, then they will theirs and before you know it you'll have your own support network and friendships.
4. Remember the life is part sadness too - I know that it's not easy when we're thinking about being happy that we have to be sad. Unless we're lying to ourselves we have to understand that part of life is sadness. It's these times though that give us a measure of what being happy is. They also teach us more about what we're capable of and more importantly what we need to be, to be truly happy. If you put pressure on yourself to be happy all of the time, you will fail! We have to accept life is part sadness.
5. See the good in everything - The main and most valuable lesson of my transition thus far is this one. I've been passed over for job opportunities, for relationships, friendships, family you name it things haven't gone as I expect. I've been rejected by family, been stood up on dates, not gotten promotions at work - but it's all been for the best. I've learned far more about myself and actually more prepared when the correct opportunity has come along. I'm not sure I believe in fate. But I do believe that when something we want to happen doesn't, it's because a far better opportunity is around the corner. We just have to keep going and we will get there.
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