Have you ever noticed people will do everything that they can to avoid change? I mean, they're so focused on it that they complain about the smallest changes. I'm sure you've had situations at work, when you've had to follow a new process? And they are the usually the first to bemoan the situation, or pipe up with, "But we've always done it this way". You know who I'm talking about.
Is it the same for you about any changes you've had to make?
Being a transgender woman and coach of others I get why some of us can be terrified of change. Trust me, I was petrified to even leave the house the day before I started working as Debbie.
You see whether anyone cares to admit this or not, change is coming and you can either do your best to avoid it, or embrace it. Embracing change can be scary, create uncertainty in yourself and your future - but it can also be the platform to making real powerful and fulfilling lasting changes in your life, and the lives of those around you.
The next few steps will hopefully empower you to embrace the changes you need to make, in order to be truly happy in your journey.
Step 1 - Get help: In the beginning I honestly thought that I would be able to do it all alone, and whilst I had a massive strength of character and courage to start my transition? There were many things I struggled with in the first few months. Things didn't really start progressing for me until I started to seek the support of my peers and a therapist who specialised in dealing with people with gender dysphoria. Same goes for you. If you're seeking to make massive changes in your life - seek out the support and coaching of those who are successful in that field. They will give you valuable coping strategies and techniques they have developed that you can use to push through the challenges you're going to face.
Step 2 - Check your inner voice: You know one of the certainties of human behaviour is that we follow through on who we believe we are. There is a real human need to be consistent with who we define ourselves as. To use my own experience as a reference, I never truly believed that I would ever be able to transition unless I won the lottery, or people died around me so that I wouldn't have to feel the shame of them knowing who I truly was. You see how limiting that was? The moment I decided that I had to follow who I wanted to be and started down that path is the moment that I was at peace with myself.
Step 3 - Who set your glass ceiling: We all have an idea of what our capabilities are, but when did you set yours and who set them? Who told you what the limits of your capabilities were? Was it you or someone else? If it was someone else, it's high time you checked on what you wish to achieve and then get defined clear goals in place so you can work on strategies to implement those changes. We live who we believe we are. If you need help in defining this, then I would really recommend getting a coach/mentor to work with you on this.
Step 4 - Be spontaneous: When you're talking about your true self and making progress towards your real identity, you have to be spontaneous at the start. When you've had a drink, I'm sure you've noticed that you act without thinking about how people are towards you. When you act in the moment and you're not thinking about how others perceive you, often you're coming to the world from your true source. That person is the real you. I'm not saying that you have to act in an unprofessional or harmful way. What I am saying is that once you act on being the person you truly are, that's when you're going to be at the most happiest; productive and fulfilled.
Step 5 - Step it up: It's the most obvious statement, but without action you won't change anything. Have you ever had a period in your life when something happened and as a result you've had to make changes that have meant that your whole life has changed course? Maybe you changed career for something you loved. Or you left a relationship where you were abused or unfulfilled. Those changes required you to make a decision to change, have clear defined goals and then take actions towards that change. You have to take MASSIVE action if you want to change the direction of your life in a MASSIVE way.
If you would like to see more on this you can watch the YouTube video.